This essay.....is largely descriptive of one of the ways God has been slowly changing my heart, over the past 26 years, since I came to know Christ.
Go, read it. I loved Mr. Rogers too. Still do.
This essay.....is largely descriptive of one of the ways God has been slowly changing my heart, over the past 26 years, since I came to know Christ.
Go, read it. I loved Mr. Rogers too. Still do.
7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
The email messages have been pouring in from those of you concerned about the pastor search process at our church. We had a momentary set back, as we determined that Pastor Robert White, was, well, dead. Cancer of the mouth, I understand. However we can now, again, take heart. There is hope!
These days, some folks are down on the future of the mainline denominations. To this I have but one reply....Don Lonie.
Apparently, not a lot of people are familiar with Don, but after he talked with teenagers, there was apparently sufficient demand for his
talking, that he, well, talked again. Not only is Don good at talking, he sports a fine, yet conservative wardrobe. Finally, and most importantly, Don is a self-assured and confident balding man; a true mark of maturity and leadership potential. Rare is the Christian leader who does not need to expend his spiritual maturity on the growing of head hair.If Don was asked to talk more that once, that is good enough for us! Count us in, Don. We will be in touch with you soon.
This afternoon I called my old buddy, Neal. Neal used to have a job in the real world. He also used to be a regular church-going layperson like me. Then he heard God's call, and went to seminary. Now, Neal is a pastor. Neal is keenly aware of the dysfunction within the church. I like Neal, he is cool.
Well ok, he is actually not cool. I mean, he is my age, for goodness sake - late 40s. His wardrobe is pathetic, just ask his daughters. Heck, just ask my daughters about MY wardrobe. It's near disaster condition! In our daughter's minds, Neal and I could double for the Festrunck Brothers.
Anyway, Neal is a great guy. Very smart, as we two agree on just about everything, except sports. Neal is unaware that sports exist, because he is too busy reading some theological tome, or spending time being with people. Pastoring. Neal needs to work on this. Less time with people, more time with the remote control, buddy!
During our conversation today, Neal related that he is concerned that the church often falls short in relating to the rest of the world. Can I get a giant Amen on that one? I was relating to Neal the story of how I recently mentioned our church website to a friend (also from my church), and he replied, "oh, you mean the high school bathroom web site?" I laughed very hard when I heard this. But later on, I felt more like crying.
And no, I won't link to it. You have to go find it for yourself. Once you get there, you will understand the comment. Guess what though?! I hear that the website is presently under reconstruction. Oh dear God, I hope so. We silly Christian folk. Why can't we be more relevant to the world that is watching us? And please don't freak out when I used the "r" word, thank you. I still believe in Jesus.
I had another smart pastor friend tell me something many years ago. He said something like, "You know, it takes the church about 5 years to decide if a new technology or idea is not Satanic, and then, once its decides its ok, the new thing is now out of date." I need another Amen!
And then, Neal reminded me of a great web site that addresses just this issue. I may put in for this web site to be cannonized.
That is all.
You never know what to expect, living in LA. Today, a man from here came by our house, looking for a location to shoot a "family friendly" film. Turns out, this production company is controlled by these guys.
Now, if you want to feel like you have ingested too much medication, read this, a primer on Scientology theology.
So, what to do? Should we let these folks use our house for filming, and then take the money and give it to these guys? Do we tell them no thanks, we are Christian folk, and would prefer not to have Thetans in our home?
I am sorry, I am making fun. This really is all very sad, this Scientology thing. Very sad. What would you do?
For more information on Scientology, look here and here.
My favorite line, from the Rolling Stone article:
In his 1983 autobiography, Over My Shoulder: Reflections on a Science Fiction Era, the sci-fi writer Lloyd Eshbach describes meeting Hubbard in the late 1940s. "I'd like to start a religion," Eshbach recalls Hubbard saying. "That's where the money is."
This is the view of our front porch just now. So normal. So American. It was a brilliantly sunny afternoon, after almost a week of rather typical Southern California spring coastal gloom. The sun is still streaming in the back porch french doors just now, as I write this.
It has been a quiet afternoon on our street. The jack-hammering of construction work at the neighbors house yesterday has been broken by the calm of this still semi-sacred day in a secular culture. Everything around here has begun to burst with spring green. It was a good day for lunch with a friend on a sunny patio, a walk with the dog, or even a brief nap.
But in our town, beneath the veneer of a calm spring Sunday afternoon, something very sudden, scary, and painfully dark has happened. Like the thud of a 1,000 pound weight, or the shock of a violent traffic accident that no one expects; leaving a hole in our emotions that words cannot describe or fill back up. Its like the black of night.
There will be an empty chair tomorrow at the Middle School in our town. An 8th grade girl, who was in the joyous chorus of the school play just last night, has suddenly died. As we broke this tragic news to our own 6th grader this afternoon, our kitchen was hushed with shock, then grief, of loss, and weeping. Tomorrow, there will be special counseling for kids at school.
And there will be an empty chair.
The details of how she died are not important really, but it was a sudden, unexpected seizure. I find that I always want to know what happened. Its a way to cope with my own mortality. Its also a form of selfishness. What is important is the deep, dark, piercing, almost bottomless grief the family of this girl will feel. As a parent, this must be a pain inexpressible, seemingly unquenchable, almost limitless. And it never really goes completely away. It is always there, like a shadow companion.
I have nothing to offer but my prayers for a family I do not know, but whom my wife has met on several occasions. Nothing to say that will alleviate the searing pain. Nothing here, on this earth, that will calm so many troubled hearts.
But, I am reminded of a similar story full of pain. From Rossini's "Stabat Mater":
Her grieving heart,
anguished and lamenting,
was pierced by a sword.
Oh how sad and afflicted
was that blessed mother
of an Only Son.
She mourned and grieved,
and trembled as she saw
the suffering of her glorious Son.
And if you will, particularly parents who read this, take a moment to offer prayers of peace and healing for this family.
To be brief, Alaska is a land that overwhelms you. The land mass of Alaska is larger than California, Texas, and Montana put together. When one visits Alaska, one is nearly always on the edge of civilization; on the very verge of being overwhelmed by Creation itself.
We think we are the masters of our fate, that we can control life, that we are smart, in command, confident. We live in well-ordered cities where most of life is regulated and controlled.
Not so in Alaska. Nature is very close, very present, and very, very large. Each year from November to March the night ski (almost 23 hours of it in December) is alight nearly each night with the Northern Lights. This is a place that naturally makes one feel small, insignificant, and very much NOT in control.
I liked this feeling, this feeling of being on the edge of something far greater than me, of being nearly out of control. I was reminded in a new way of Who is really in control, and of how little I acknowledge my lack of control in the daily, civilized pace of my life.
Go to Alaska some day. You will be confronted with your smallness.
In an effort to revive my pathetic blog hit statitistics, I have decided to travel the world in order to bring you pithy and thoughtful observations. At least I think they're pithy, sorry if you do not. Remember, pithiness is a virtue.
Last week, New Orleans, Louisiana. Today stop, Fairbanks, Alaska. In a span of days we go from wrestling aligators to wrestling bears.
Now I ask you, what other blog can do all this? And its a stain remover and a breath freshener too!
The view from my hotel.....
It has been a very busy week. Piling, cleaning, sawing, nailing, sweeping, vacuuming (sort of...using a defective vacuum), listening, exploring, eating, cheering (on Monday for the UCLA Bruins in their failed attempt at the NCAA basketball crown) laughing, and learning. Sorry for the lack of news, but I will try to catch up a bit today and tomorrow.
Monday Morning
This is the home of "Officer Oscar", as he became known to us on Monday of this week. Our job on Monday morning was to assist another work crew from the Philadelphia area in "gutting" Oscar's home in the Lakeview District of New Orleans. If you look closely, you might see the standing watermark on the house at about the 8 foot level. Pretty much everything Oscar's family of three (wife and 2 year old son) owned in the world was piled up on the curb, after only about three hours of our work cleaning out. Everything in the house was left essentially as it was on August 28, 2006, the day before Katrina hit. Childrens toys on the floor, a refrigerator full of very toxic food, a washing machine still full of brackish flood water. Mold to the ceiling. The smell of mold everywhere.
Then, imagine this. A crew of strangers you don't know shows up at your home SEVEN months after Katrina, and in a matter of hours, has piled everything you ever had on the curb, and is already busy tearing the walls down to the bear studs when you show up around lunch time.
After a couple of hours of our work, Oscar showed up and (pictured here in the yellow shirt, surrounded by our demo team) spent some time with us on the back porch. His story of the storm is amazing. The initial surge from the 17th Street canal breach topped the roof of his home. Soon after, the flood waters settled in at about the 8 foot level for three weeks, until water could be pumped out of the neighborhood. The frist time Oscar saw his home after the flood was several days afterward, with one of his fellow officers, in a boat.
Oscar has not been emotionally able to return to his home for very long, and is basically coping with life, living in a rented home outside of New Orleans. He is still on the police force, and is working 14 to 16 hour days in order to make as much overtime money as possible. Before Katrina, the New Orleans police force consisted of 1,600 officers. Today, its 1,200 officers, all stretched to the limit. I was impressed with the few minutes we had to spend with Oscar. He did not leave. He loves his work, and his family. He intends to stay and make a go of it here in New Orleans, in spite of the uncertain future of his home. His days consist of a foot beat in the downtown area of New Orleans, a beat that he enjoys, because, as he puts it, "I know who all the bad guys are in my patrol area".
My prayer is that Oscar might find Hope, purpose, and a reason to keep on.
More later, I am working off of a City of New Orleans wireless connection that is pretty spotty.
Peace
Its Spring Break week next week for the kids.
About a month ago, my wife and I began a discussion with our girls, now 12 and 15, about what our Spring Break together would look like. We typically have gone someplace for a couple of days, enjoyed being together, laughed, played in a pool. Just family time.
So, this year, we asked the kids what they wanted to do. Heather, our 12 year old immediately offered this suggestion. She wants to learn to snowboard, after loving our ski vacation last spring. Kelly, the 15 year old (after much sighing and eye-rolling about the completely dumb idea of her sister) liked my suggestion for a trip here. This idea was met with howls of protest from Heather, and a look of mild frustration from my dear wife (who, at the end of the day, knows better about most things in life, except pro golf and the finer points of PC operation).
And so, there you have it - an impasse. Typical team work by our family. Unity, joy, happiness. Complete agreement on all things. No conflict. Shiny happy people holding hands. Suburban bliss.
So, what to do? How should we indulge ourselves this year?
And then, a moment of clarity. Something completely different. No ski slopes, no shopping on Fifth Avenue. A contrast might be good, for us all, and even maybe, for our souls. We are going to spend our Spring Break -- in New Orleans.
My old friend, Pastor Mike, who I have mentioned here several times before, leads a church in New Orleans. They need our hands, our feet, and maybe our smiles, words of encouragement, and our love, however brief and fleeting. And come to think of it, we need them - the people of Canal Street church, the body of Christ. I think I need them more than they need me. To learn from them, to experience their world, to look in their eyes, to see what they deal with each day. I hope, I pray, it makes us better people, and more importantly, that our visit might be a cup of cool water to those in need.
Off we go, on Saturday. More soon.
The whole situation in Iraq is painfully difficult, beyond my ability to fully comprehend. However, I would like all six of you who faithfully peek in on my musings to take a good look at this article from The American Enterprise Institute (whose offices I drove past in Washington, while I was there for business just last week).
It should be understood that the author is not a hack for the White House. Most interesting line in this article to me:
"Telling the Iraqis to "sink or swim" soon, therefore, is tantamount to telling them to drown."
I provide this as food for thought for my good friend Rob Asghar.
Note: The photo above was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. The caption reads:
"Fallujah - U.S. Marines pray over a fellow Marine killed while fighting insurgent strongholds. (Photo by Murad Sezer, April 8, 2004.)"
To me, the tragedy, heartache, and nobility of this image are beyond words.
To my pal Rob Asghar, thanks for the magnanimous good wishes today at lunch, they paid off! You may be "post evangelical", but I still love you, and likely that Jesus does too. But I am not his sole spokesperson.
And to my friend Steve Bock, who sometimes questions my character, I am sorry that your team did play very well this year.
Today, on the way to work, I heard this, the story of this.
Based on my recent musings about this life, I find the words of Henry O. Gusley sobering and meaningful:
Today, though a date of no particular note in history, is one of importance to ourself, being no less than the anniversary of our birth. That event is recorded in the Family Bible at home as having occurred on the 26th day of November, A.D. 1837--making us, therefore, today exactly 25 years of age. It is natural for one to look back and review his past life on days like this. He is forcibly reminded that he is progressing onward in years, and though long and tedious have seemed the days and months as they were passing by, yet when we bethink ourselves of the occurrences [since] our last natal anniversary, and even the one prior to that, we are struck by the swiftness with which years are accumulating upon us. Two years ago we spent this day in the pursuits of peace at home and the number of our years was unheeded. The next found our beloved country torn by treason and divided by civil war, and ourself in the ranks of the defenders of the constitution and the laws. Today we are helping to represent that constitution and to uphold it in one of the traitor-States. Where the next shall find us we know not. But we dismiss the subject, leaving hopes for the future unexpressed, and accepting our fate as a soldier and a bachelor with all the grace in our power.
How interesting, the persistence of human nature. A voice from history speaks to me, to us all, even today.
Something remarkable happened today.
In the frigid cold of Nome, Alaska, Rachel Scdoris, who is legally blind and just 20 years old, just finished the 1,100 Iditarod Dog Sled Race. This is her second attempt, after having to scratch last year.
This is just plain amazing. The power of the human spirit is remarkable. I love stories like this.
I am 47 years old. For some reason, I find myself preoccupied often with the concept of time. If there only was a way in which one could freeze time, that would be wonderful. Oh, how I wish, rather nostalgically, that I could have frozen time when our daughters were little, say, at 3 and 6 years old, perhaps. What a precious time that was (although I did not have a clue how precious then).
My life sometimes feels rather rote. Same thing, each day; get up, pick up the paper, feed the dog, read the headlines (after finding my glasses), shower, shave, dress, drive kids to school, Starbucks stop, 10 minutes to the office, sit down, answer emails, blah, blah, blah.
Does the Creator inhabit the ordinary? Is His Mercy found in each moment? Can the drudgery of each day, in fact become something of Divinity being slowly revealed?
But then, there are these moments. Little epiphanies if you will. Last week, I stole (ok, come and get me, FBI) a CD from a friend's collection. I am not sure why I took it. It might be a quest, deep in my soul for something sacred, a longing for even a peek at eternity. Maybe to understand....time.
The CD you ask? No, not The Carpenter's Greatest Hits.
Andrea Bocelli - Sacred Arias.
Andrea was born among the vineyards of Tuscany, still an infant when he developed glaucoma, and rendered blind by a brain hemorrhage at the age of 12. Music filtering into his room soothed the unsettled child, and his passion for music brought light back into his life. He grew up and went to law school, but always longed to sing. Turns out, Andrea and I were born 92 days apart in 1958.
Music filtering into my car and my office this week has soothed this somewhat unsettled middle-aged guy. In particular arias that remind me of the fragility of life, the condition of our humanity, and the mysteriously great love of God:
Ingemisco - Giuseppe Verdi, Messa de Requiem
I groan, like the sinner that I am;
guilt redeems my face.
O God, spare the supplicant.
You who pardoned Mary and heeded the thief
have given me hope as well
My prayers are unworthy, but you who are good,
in pity let me not burn in the eternal fire.
Give me a place among the sheep and separate me from the goats;
let me stand at your right hand.
I still don't understand much. I don't get time, feeling like life is going through the motions, raising girls that are turning into young ladies far too fast.
But I know a few things. I know where I am headed. I know that this is not my home. I know that each day offers opportunities to care, to serve, and to reflect a life transformed by God. To build the Kingdom here. To aleve suffering, bring healing.
I know I have been given hope. I want a place among the sheep.
So, last week I am having one of my rare quiet lunches. Just me and several back issues of the Wall Street Journal (the world's most excellent newspaper). No clients, no office staff. Just me and the paper. Ahhh, bliss for the sometime introvert that I am. And in the "offbeat" center column of the front page, I come across this article, which definitely has my interest.
I find a link to this web site in the article. I visit the web site, and get nearly giddy with some of the ideas, concepts, and direction of what these folks are up to. Jesus, for the rest of us! To see who is behind this novel idea, look here.
So now, since, as my friend Rob points out, I have a less-than-adequate education, I need some of my more theologically minded friends to pitch in, and post their thoughts on the Off-The-Map folks.
A week ago tomorrow was the beginning of Lent. A time of reflection, repentance, submission, and above all, a six week season of remembering the most profound event in all of human history, the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ.
It began without me. I am not sure why, but by the end of Wednesday, my workaday life has rushed past, and I was not able to find the time to make it to a wonderful tradition of a Lenten service at my church. Early in the day last Wednesday, I even drove by the door of our local Catholic Church, and wondered if I should go inside, risking my Protestant coolness, and receive the imposition of ashes. A sign of my repentance and helplessness before God. Nope, I thought, I am not gonna do that. Wouldn't be prudent. Stay the course. I drove on, too distracted by my own life, and selfconscious of my own weakness to take a small risk, and step forward to receive a mark upon my forehead.
Somewhat ironically, the word "Lent" comes from a Middle Eastern word for spring. Ash Wednesday is a Christian holiday (holy day) that is not a biblical requirement (rather like Christmas). Nevertheless, it has been honored by Christians for well over ten centuries at the beginning of Lent. In the earliest centuries, Christians who had fallen into persistent sin had ashes sprinkled on their bodies as a sign of repentance, even as Job repented "in dust and ashes" (Job 42:6). Around the tenth century, all believers began to signify their need for repentance by having ashes placed on their foreheads in the shape of a cross. Even this sign of sinfulness hinted at the good news yet to come through its shape.
A mark. Upon my forehead. A little cross. What would our lives be like, our culture be like, if the cross would not wash off. Permanent. Now that would make life different. Would I behave differently? One of the reasons I don't have a Christian fish on the back of my car is that I am not convinced that my "vehicular Christian witness" would not be perhaps suitable to witness for Jesus at all times.
And so, I hope to take the time over the next five weeks to pause, to think, to reflect on Jesus, on myself, and on my sinfulness, my feet of clay. And to remember the last weeks of Jesus' life, the difficult road he followed, the pain he felt, the loneliness, the confusion. To reflect on his final words, asking God why he had been forsakened.
We are not forsaken, we are found. We are loved. I will not miss the rest of this Lent.
Today, my wife and I took a quick getaway trip to San Diego (work thing for me). We had planned to visit this church, where our friend is an associate pastor.
We showed up, walked in the door, and found out that Bob Bennett was the guest artist in the worship service. I have loved Bob's music now for more than 20 years (although he is not the typical hip and cool Christian recording artist), and find his music, for me, at least, speaks to the heart of the gospel mystery.
Alright now, I have very few things happen in my life that are sort of a "Holy Spirit Whacked Me On The Head" type of thing. But this was one, definitely.
This Sunday I experienced one of the most gentle, wonderful, grace-filled church services in a very long time. A drink of cool, fresh water, after a season of rough sailing at our church home. What did I learn? There is hope, great hope!
I am thankful for the Body of Christ, as expressed in the faithful at Solana Beach Presbyterian Church.