Sunday, October 16, 2005

The Formula

As I noted here, this past weekend was our annual church retreat. I was not excited to go, given all the pain and frustration so many have felt over the past year. Our family did not go last year to this same event, as we were not even sure if we would be able to return to our church again.

So, I took God at his word, and went. It was a good time, friendships were renewed, and it seems our fractured church is slowly, gradually, beginning to heal. Solo Deo Gloria to that.

Separately, I learned something new. Amidst all the confusion and frustration of the past months, I guess I have been searching for the perfect formula to end the pain, make everything better for everyone involved, and then - move on.

Turns out, sometimes, the Kingdom of God does not offer us handy complete formulas, or even partial equations. Sometimes, complete forgiveness can be a mystery, and something that does not make a neat, happy, Hollywood ending. For someone who likes things neat, this is not easy. This condition does not, by any means negate the presence of God in the midst of the pain or loss. He is present, He wants to teach us, and perhaps, He wants us to embrace more of the Mystery. I want to learn the right lessons from all this, and I want to be able to NOT have some answers.

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