Saying We Are Sorry

I stumbled upon a web site that is helpful for all of us Christ - follower types. It goes by the simple name of "Sorry" in banner links from other websites, and I might add it to my links. I think I will find it good for me to read from time to time. Maybe more often than that.

We Christian folk have done a lot of damage to people, and for that, I am very sorry.

Some apologies from the site that were meaningful to me:

I have been critical and expected you to live according to my expectations. I am sorry. -- Patsy

I am sorry that so often the church has twisted Jesus' message to exclude rather than include people. --Sally

I'm sorry that so many acts of kindness we bestowed upon you had strings attached. --Lee

I'm sorry that I joined with the multitude of Christians who were known by what (who) they are against, rather than what (who) they are for. That’s judgment, not grace! --Glenn

I am sorry that I ran off my mouth instead of just listening to you. --JP

For those of you who bothered to read up on Jesus, I know you read the wonderful stories about people flocking to Him and finding love. Or finding a miracle and you hoped that if you came to church you’d get some too. So you came with that last ember cupped in your hands, coming to find the God you’d read about and the love, treasure and the miracle. We stomped on it. I am mortified that we took your last hope and extinguished it. Lord have mercy. I am so sorry. --Sonja

I am sorry too. Sorry for the life I have lead thus far, ensconced in the little Christian social bubble I have built around me. About not seeking out people in my life, and just loving them, without an agenda. For not listening, for being self absorbed. I am sorry for the gigantic undercurrent of Christian folk in this country that have created a consumer culture that rivals that of WalMart, instead of really loving people till it hurts, and making disciples of Jesus.

I am sorry for the shallowness of my faith, and for ignoring the depth of pain and questioning in the lives of those around me.

I am really sorry for judging those around me, just because they don't go to church every Sunday like me.

I am just sorry.

God Speed Discovery!

I saw this in person about 17 years ago; a night launch. This one was earlier today. I love this stuff.

German Tragedy

Tonight, all we can do is pray for the community of Winnenden, Germany.

My Inner Peter

It's Lent, and so, a season to reflect on the end of Jesus' life.

They were sitting around a fire. Sort of like a campfire. It was the final night of Jesus' life.

And Peter was there. You know, The Rock of the Church, and the thoroughly ordinary, all in one. He was by that campfire too. Eyes nervously darting around. Not willing to look anyone in the face, at least for very long, for fear the expression on his own face might give away the feelings that were churning around inside him. Much like those feelings that swirl around inside us all at times, when we know we have been self-absorbed, let others down, lied, or acted like a fool with people we love. I do those things lots.

That Peter. Like me. The one that denied Christ three times. The one who was a general disappointment.

The other day, I came across this, from the Gospel of Luke:

⁶⁰Peter replied, "Man, I don't know what you're talking about!" Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. ⁶¹The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: "Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times." ⁶²And he went outside and wept bitterly.

I am familiar with this story, and have read it many times, and skipped right over one little piece - right there, in the middle.

"The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter."

I have been stuck there now, thinking about that look, for several days.

What was in that look; how would his gaze have looked to me? Could I have sensed what he was thinking? How would it have made me feel; would I have felt the warmth coming to my face, if I had received that gaze from him?

I asked a very wise theologian about that look, just the other day. His response was, "I would like to think that look was the same look on the face of the Father in the prodigal son story." Perhaps.

Then I wondered if there might have been something else in that look; very different emotions that we have heard about Jesus that put us more on edge. Like the time he got fed up with smart guys. And probably with humanity a little too, perhaps. He got mad on occasion, that Jesus.

And then I asked my wife what she thought of that look. Her response was similar to my own thoughts. "Maybe that look was full of a thousand different emotions". Exactly. Sadness, regret, understanding, empathy, frustration, anger, resignation, pity. How many human emotions are there? So many were likely contained in that look.

So, I am back to thinking about Peter, and what made him sit by that fire, and what made him deny the most important relationship in his young life. And I am back to that look.

I think I have an Inner Peter.

Magnificent

I was born
I was born to be with you
In this space and time
After that and ever after I haven't had a clue
Only to break rhyme
This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

I was born
I was born to sing for you
I didn't have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice
From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise...

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent
Magnificent

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent
Magnificent
Magnificent

The End of Alone

I found this article, and the accompanying video below a bit damning....and true. What am I becoming?

DePaul U In DeSnow

Bit cold out for the campus housing tour, I should say. Great day!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Snow!

Forecast: Flurries
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Mmm. Deep Dish

When visiting foreign cultures, it is important to try the food of the natives. We like these natives, and their food!

Our Hotel View

The view of the Lincoln Park zoo and Hancock building from our hotel; we are 5 minutes by car (and 20 minutes if you want to walk in this weather) from the DePaul campus.

Famous Kelly line several weeks ago, when discussing DePaul University's location in Chicago: "Wait, Chicago is near water? What?"

So much for high school geography. Our public schools are flawless.

Off for Due's pizza in a while.

Leaving for DePaul

At LAX. Mom dropped us off a bit early.

Fun times, waiting an extra hour for your flight. Note approaching plane outside window. Luckily, it stopped prior to thonking Kelly in the, um, back end.

25 Random Things

After several of my friends tagged me for the 25 things, I am relenting, and posting my 25 things. Unfortunately, as I am a somewhat dull fellow, I should only really post about 12 things. If you suffer from sleep disorders, read this, and you will very likely be snoring by #5.

There is some unwritten rule that you have to tag 25 other people, and coerce, shame, or somehow force them to write their own 25 things. I have no intention of doing that. But I have tagged some of you....not that it means anything, mind you.

So, here goes, Steve's Amazingly Mundane 25 Things...in no particular order:

1. I share the same birthday (not year) as both Lionel Richie and Brian Wilson. I am sure this has deep meaning. Michael Jackson and I are almost the same age, having missed each other's birthdays by a matter of weeks. Again, profound hidden meaning here. Its up to you to interpret.

2. I am an only child. My Mom used to tell a story that when I was 3 or 4 years old, I would sit next to a little hole in the wooden fence of our neighbors yard, put my eye up to the hole, and call out for the little girl (same age) next door to come and play. Is that sad or what? Don't worry, my story gets better.

3. If left alone on a desert island, and only allowed one type of food, it would be the In N' Out menu. Manna from God, as far as I am concerned. Call me shallow.

4. Many years ago, I smuggled Bibles into the former Eastern Block. On multiple occasions. It was scary, and hysterical, and amazing. It changed my life forever, and I am not kidding.

5. My Dad was a B-17 bomber pilot during World War II. I am very proud of this, and of my Dad, for his service to our Country.

6. I have a lifelong fear of grasshoppers. Ask my daughters about this; it a source of humor for them.

7. If I could have one job other than the one I have (which I love, and am very thankful for) it would be as a Boeing 747 captain. But only for a year or so, I think it might get boring after a while, and the staying in hotels and airport food would soon loose its glamor.

8. I am an early adapter. Cell phones, computer stuff, solar power. I love technology.

9. The older I get, the less I know for sure, but the deeper my faith feels to me.

10. I enjoy just about all kinds of music, but I find my tastes changing over time. Right now, I am rediscovering Stevie Wonder, I love anything John Rutter rights or conducts, and I just love going to Disney Hall for classical concerts.

11. I once blew out my knee in a burger restaurant, slipping on a lump of guacamole that had been spilled on the floor. Its true. Pathetic, but true. I would have like to have been able to say I was saving a drowning child or something noble. But no. Such is my life.

12. My last two years at college I had a press pass to all the football and basketball games. I took photos for UCLA right on the field / court. It was very cool. I nearly got killed in a couple of sideline tackles and full court break-aways.

13. While we are on college, after my freshman year, I had the best job in the world (save for the pay), or so I thought. Summer of 1977. I was in charge of the golf carts at the Rivera Country Club. I used to hang with Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Bill Cosby, and Glen Campbell. Really, they were nice guys. I could play all the golf I wanted, every day, after 4PM, AND bring a friend for free. I once shot an 84 at Riviera. I have a witness.

14. I have been to Fairbanks, Alaska for work. Everything about Alaska is completely overwhelming, and awe inspiring. God definitely out did himself when He created Alaska.

15. I received fuzzy Crocs for Christmas from my family this year. My daughters are horrified at the thought of me wearing them in public. To them, its worse than wearing sandals and dark socks.

16. I used to be the little bartender for my parents house parties when I was growing up. I would wear a little vest and dress slacks. It was frightening.

17. Only children almost always still give me the creeps. I think that is related to Number 16.

18. I have witnessed a night time Space Shuttle launch. The closest they let you get to the launch pad is something like 3 or 5 miles away, and the violence of the liftoff ignition still (from that far away!) literally thumps against your chest. Words cannot describe the visual, physical, and emotional sensation of it. Ask someone who has seen one. It defies description.

19. My greatest living hero is John Wooden. I have a basketball signed by him in my house.

20. I cannot understand how anyone can travel on a commercial flight without getting a window seat. I mean, you get to FLY! And all the stuff God made, it's right there outside the window....to see! Even if its cloudy below, the view, people!

21. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be the Dad of the two amazing daughters that live at our house (for only a bit longer now). And I never thought I would be married to such a total babe as my wife. I love you Nance!

22. I am a crappy skier. Its just not in my genes.

23. I did not try sushi until I was about 35 years old. Previously, I had thought, "Ew, raw fish". Now, I think, "Ew, stupid me." I lead a sheltered life. And, as you can see, I am running out of steam here.

24. James Taylor is amazing. He could sing the phone book, and I would be happy. I know, I am SO middle-aged. Deal with it.

25. Like my friend, Nate, I often doubt myself, feel insecure, wonder about why bad things happen to good people, cry over suffering, get needlessly angry at little things, say insensitive things to people I love, and worry that I am gradually becoming a grumpy old guy like my Dad. But then, I remember that my life is not my own, that I have been miraculously redeemed, and that God loves me more than I will ever know. Its times like these that I am reminded of my favorite verses from the Scriptures, from II Corinthians 12:

"My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."

What If It All Falls Apart?

I have been doing some Internet reading recently, and it seems that not all in the world of evangelicalism is bright and sunny. Storm clouds are on the horizon - an ominous change of sorts. Massive climatic change in the happy world of American evangelicals might be underway. Good bye Dr. Dobson, southern mega-churches, and blue-haired people on cable TV. Hello ambiguity.

Everything might be falling apart, and it feels somewhat scary, but at the same time exciting and hopeful. This change could all be very good.

My thinking began to get started after reading this, followed by this, and then this. Seems, if we believe only half of what Michael is writing about, there is some serious change on the horizon. And then, if you want to be further depressed by the future, take a look at this one.

Seems a bleak outlook. I am hopeful. This might drive us Jesus Believers to a much better place, in the long run. Here is something to think about: